Friday, 31 October 2014

Kitty, you've gone too far...

"I've gone too far?"





Jude:   Hey Kitty - look at what I gotcha - it's a stuffed fishy

Kitty:   You're kidding right? You mean it's not really, really, REAL (shaking head)


Jude:   Do you like it - do you want to play with it?


Kitty:   Ok now you are really starting to scare me - you need help. I mean like "Professional Help".


Jude:   Oh look Kitty - it wants to be your friend. It likes you.


Kitty:   911


911:     This is 911 - do you have an Emergency.


Kitty:   YES! - my owner is CRAZY!


911:    Hello this is 911 do you have an Emergency. (speaking to a colleague) I hear something but not sure what it is. Must be a prank call.


Kitty:   (still shaking head) Humans! Y'all need help I tell ya.



Within Seconds - the phone rings.

Jude:   Hello?

911:    Hi - this is 911 calling you back. We just received a call from this location?

Jude:   Really? I did not call 911.

911:   Ma'am - you do realize it is an offense to prank call 911 don't you and it can lead to prosecution?

Jude:  Miss I assure you I did not call 911. Absolutely not.

911:   Ma'am do you have children in the house?

Jude:  No I do not - I only have a....wait a second.

Jude:   What I meant was no I do not have any children but my nephew is staying with me and I will make sure he doesn't get near the phone. Thank you though for letting us know.

911:    Your welcome.

Jude:  (Screaming at the top of her lungs)

KITTY!!!!! get your furry butt down here NOW!!



...(TO BE CONTINUED)





How I see the World and how Kitty sees it:

"..or how it really is."

Conversations with my Cat Kitty

Jude:     Come here kitty – I’m going to hug you to pieces.


Kitty:     Keep it up and I’m going to claw you to pieces.

Jude:      (Hugging and squeezing kitty)

Kitty:     Dear Lord in heaven help me – this woman is DRIVING me crazy. Kiss kiss kiss – like who does that to an animal that crawls around in a litter box….REALLY woman!!!

Jude:     *smooches all over* I love you Kitty – you so cute and  fluffy.

Kitty:     what were you expecting – butt ugly and porcupines.

Jude:     Ok Kitty – down you go.  Gonna get you later.

Kitty:    This is a big house – there has got to be at least one place I can hide.